Whoa! Too Long!

Whoa, been way too long since my last post and I do apologize! Quick break down of the last few weeks:
1. Drama/complications with hubby and family...God's gonna deal with it and get glory from it. Not my battle any longer.
2. Hit the 2 month mark for being smoke free. If it weren't for me having to think about the quit date, wouldn't even cross my mind.
3. Hallelujah!!! I survived and completed my first (and probably only) half marathon! Right about 3 hours to finish. Good note, my lovely ladies and I are thinking about getting a group to do the Turkey Trot 5k this Thanksgiving.
4. I got a job!!!!!

Yes, you read that correctly. I was blessed with employment this past Friday! How very exciting and amazing. Here's the story:

Laura Oliver has been helping me with submitting, writing, tweaking, etc. my resume since August 2009 (yes, that long) and finally it paid off. I was unaware that her father knew I needed a position and was blown away when my name came to his mind when a friend of his needed a position filled. Within a few days, I was shuffled through applications, an interview, a test (BTW, it reminded me how much I hate Algebra, logic, etc ;-) ), and a few more emails and finally corporate approval/paperwork. And within a week, I was given details on pay and benefits and offered the position.

Here are some things that are stellar and details I would never had thought about:

1. I get to set my own hours; therefore the immediate need for childcare has been lifted and is being addressed by prayer, petition, and God's will. (Please keep this aspect of life in your prayers as well)
2. The company (Advanced Technology Institute) is growing rapidly in this starving economy and that, by itself, speaks volumes!
3. During the interview, I had been informed that the goal of the position for which I was being hired was that said individual, me, within a year would be training people for the position I would be assuming upon hiring. Um, nothing but moving up in sight!
4. It's a quick commute.
5. It's a predictive job. I will be working in the Financial Aid Office helping students get money affairs in order. (Nothing but black and white)
6. No weekends required and I'm done by 4 on Fridays!

I am sure there are many more that I am overlooking or failing to mention, but it doesn't matter...I have a job! With "career potential" written all over it!

I will never be able to say this enough, but THANK YOU. For your prayers, kind words, love, support, encouragement, etc. You will never know how much it means to me to know that I have a support system that is extremely strong and I have a family numbering in the 100's. Thank you!

I start Thursday...so, please pray that Brooklyn and I adjust well and that I am mentally prepared for this new journey I will be embarking on!

Haha, yeah....

Irony at its finest:
Chinese fortune tonight:

Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance...

With that said, I've almost busted my behind TWICE in front of our talented artist, Kevin Mac. All I can do is chuckle at myself and appreciate the humor.

On to the update part...this evening I was lucky enough to see this gentleman perform his first single live.  I caught "Ready to Be Your Man" on 97.3 The Eagle earlier today and was instantly delighted. He is so very blessed with the abilities to not only sing and play, but to write lyrics as well. Even with the joy it was to hear it on the radio, nothing beats watching someone perform a piece they've put their heart and soul into. This is the first step of many that he will take on this path he has now ventured down.

I urge you, seek out this single that has now hit the music waves in Hampton Roads. And, I encourage you, invest some time to watch Kevin Mac use his skills in a venue live. You will not be disappointed.

Who is Gonna Go With Me!?

Soul Mate?

"...Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it..."

How profound and elegantly revisited by Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love. At this moment of her story, she's sharing an intimate conversation she was having with a fellow companion in an Ashram in India. Pouring her heart out over a lost love, it triggered a whirlwind of emotions regarding a dear friend of mine. Prior to reading this book, our friendship had finally reached the point of no-return for reasons still unclear to either of us--until I began reading this book. I have numerous friends who are also reading and we giggle at the similarities throughout her story (even down to the names of those in her life--including her own) to that of my own story. It is a fantastic parallel between our lives, one that I am grateful for since, had it not been a gift, I would not have picked up, or purchased, said book.

This segment though...this "soul mate" conversation is one that rings loud and clear in my own mind. It's the nickname my friend and I shared; one that summed up the intimacy and delicacy that our friendship contained--the coexisting in the moment that I didn't even share with my husband. She was my soul mate. And I don't even like using the past tense because I know that she will always hold that place in my heart and be that person to me. But, what Elizabeth's dear friend had said was entirely true. She was my mirror and I, hers. And even though it was never our intent to hurt one another--our friendship was painful. Not merely because of things that we did to one another (mostly unintentional and non-malicious), but because the paths God had taken us down were ones that were difficult. The choices we made also lead to consequences that were less that "pleasing."

With that said, I do "thank God" for every moment she and I shared together. More often than not, she was the sister that I didn't have. More often than not, she was the ear that I needed to "yell in" at all hours of the day. More often than not, she was the one who held me to standards higher than I was holding myself to.

Even still, more often than not, it was "too painful" because we could damage one another beyond repair. And sometimes...we did. Regardless, God placed us together that day we met and allowed us to cultivate a relationship for an eternity (we are sisters-in-Christ after all) because He was/is going to get the glory out of our friendship.

I believe He has.

Wednesday Night

For those who don't know, I have started helping with the middle school ministry. I'm very excited, but I did feel a little sad when I realized I wouldn't be at the church prayer meetings on Wednesday nights. With that said, I was so swept away by the moving of the Holy Spirit last night as I watched the hearts of those children cry out for Christ.

Watching outstretched arms, closed eyes, and the sounds of their lips was an experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. I felt privileged to be in the presence of God working in the lives of such precious little ones. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do as I become more involved in the ministry.

I now know what others have meant when they claimed I would get so much more from it than I would ever anticipate; that my involvement is as much for me as it is for them.

How'd You Make it Through?

This was the last week in the Beatitudes, and it was executed well by Pastor Ira. The Scripture discussed was Matthew 5:10. Short of the long, good for you if you're getting beat up spiritually and physically because you're doing the right thing--you got some big stuff coming your way! Yippy!!! (you better be feeling that sarcasm because it's thick)

I get it, we're all gonna go through hard times. It's part of life. My question is, do you wanna be the one who survived whatever hardships by "the hair of your chiny-chin-chin?" I don't. The things I'm currently living through can be liken to that of my training for my 1/2 marathon. First of all, it's a journey--something I decided to embark upon because of careful consideration and an education choice or the results of foolishness and poor living. Either way, I am on a path that I must complete. I decided at the beginning of my training that I was going to do my best, push what my body could take, and understand that I couldn't "break" myself before the big day because then all would be lost. My goal on the day of the big run is to finish. That's it. I wanna finish big and strong and under my own power...no huffing -n- puffing, passing out, collapsing across the line...a finish that is evidence of me being in control of myself.

Now, let's look at the ironic parallel to my personal/spiritual life. Each day is a new day of "training"--wake up, do some confession, ask for some wisdom and direction, armor up, breakfast, gym/beach/zoo/aquarium/etc, back home, and finish out the day. Some days are so much easier than others. Then there are days where I am so beat up from the day before that I just skip my basics and wear myself thin. Just like the days my knees hurt, my heart aches. Similar to the days I feel strong because I did my strength training, I feel like my spirit could kick some major devil butt.

As I write this, I'm amazed at the correlation God is showing me--boy can I be blonde at times! I digress. Anyway, Pastor Ira said it bluntly, "It's a matter of how you go through your hard times and persecution." Who cares if you make it to the end if you're dragging yourself, bludgeoned and bloody? What kind of testimony is that to the power that God has in all circumstances? Yeah, there are going to be those days where you'll have to seclude yourself and submerge yourself totally into God's Word and His loving arms; other days will come where your support system will be more crucial than ever to help you fight the bandits and robbers--even still other days where you'll walk tall, singing songs of praise, and shinning with the love of God and the brightness of the Holy Spirit. We're given more than the ability to endure such things with a spirit of grace, compassion, and most importantly, love.

Struggles and persecutions aren't what we seek out. No one wants to get beat up, but God's gonna get good out of it. If Christ went through it, so will we. We're gonna do it knowing that there is a light waiting for us at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that as long as we remain righteous in our walk, humble in our spirit, kind in our words, and loving in our hearts there are riches there for us beyond whatever we could imagine or fathom.

My question to you: how are you making it through?

Waiting Is The Hardest

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.

Let me paint you a picture-

Construction worker is on location, a site that he has been working at his entire life. The project is supposedly coming along smoothly, but it is very apparent that it is nowhere complete. He gets frustrated at times but steps back on occasion and looks over the parts that are finished. A sense of accomplishment and joy fills his heart. It's these moments that get him through the next daunting task.

Today is no different from yesterday. He woke up, drank some coffee, bowed his head and was out the door. Upon arriving on site, he gets word that upper-upper management is walking the grounds and chatting with employees. He gets himself looking good, ya know-slicks the hair, straightens the beard, pops a mint or two, and washes what will come off his hands, off...and begins to think about what he'll say. Should he mention some minor offenses or tiny complaints? Dare he brag about his talents and abilities and skills? Maybe hint at the fact that he could use a raise? All these thoughts rush back and forth through his mind as he strolls toward his station.

It's not long after he begins his daily task he finds himself needing help. Somehow he has contorted into a highly uncomfortable position, bearing an awfully heavy load. Fearful of the mockery or discipline that may befall him, he resists the urge to cry out for help. Moans and groans and pleas quietly slip out of his mouth as he tries to undo the mess he's gotten himself into. What seems like an eternity passes and soon...he hears footsteps.

"I heard someone asking for help," are the first words the construction worker hears.

"Yes, yes, please, I need some help," he manages to utter.

"Don't be alarmed, but I am going to wedge myself down here with you to help carry this weight," and whomever spoke, did just as he said he would. "And, it's gonna be okay, my partners are headed this way."

Almost instantaneously, another has arrived and is singing songs, soothing the construction worker. It seems as though he's there to help the construction worker remain in a place where he has peace in his mind, comfort in his heart that help is there, and the assurance that these two will not leave him. Even though he's still uncomfortable, things are bearable. Before he knows it, he's singing along with the second voice and enjoying himself. It's then that the second remarks, "Hang in there. It's tough, that's understood, but you're just waiting on our last partner to get things to finish up the job. There are some crucial pieces that weren't given to you but we've got them. Just give him a moment and he'll be here."

Before he realizes it, the worker has gone through a range of emotions, all feeding off his impatience. He's mad that he wasn't given what he needed. He feels foolish that he couldn't see what he hadn't been given. He's frustrated that the two with him are just as content as could be waiting on the third. He begins to fight his load and tries to get out from underneath it. This goes on and on and on, but he soon tires and stops.

As he begins to converse with the two with him and get to know them like they wanted to know him, he relaxes and falls into a place of contentment as well. It is then, that he hears the footsteps of the third partner. Equipment begins to run, tools are making noise, there are grunts released in expression of hard work but not a single word is spoken to the worker. It's soon that he figures out...he is in the presence of upper-upper management. "Uh-oh" is the only thought rushing through his brain now.

It's not long before the worker is freed from his "mess." It isn't long before he sees the projected completed and the great things his immediate boss had in store for him the whole time. It isn't long before he realizes he had the support of upper-upper management from his first day of work on this project. And it wasn't long before he knew he had never been alone...all he had to was ask, refocus, and wait.

Whose Life Do You Belong In?

This week has been so amazing. First, thank God for the awesome weather we've been having--great start to the spring season. Secondly, I love rekindling friendships that fizzled out for a short while. Sometimes life gets going and we lose track of people. I don't know how it happens, but there are times when we reach the point where we wonder if things can ever get back to where they once were. It takes nothing more than picking up the phone and initiating contact. Once done, you learn that the time apart was just what the doctor ordered so that both of you could grow and wake up. These friends are the ones we look back on and wonder where the time went...leading to building fond memories on the beach on days like today.

Then there is the deepening of relationships that are still "new." A few months ago I was blessed with a group of women, who don't even know the half of their impact, who love me unconditionally and are such a joy to be with! Each one, in their own way, causes me to challenge myself and grow in my relationship with Christ. Three show me how to worship in song and dance, two by having pure hearts, two in living righteous lives, and one by being a prayer warrior. What women of grace!

Then there are those new developments. Each one bringing something to the table and not sucking you dry. And I think that's the key when you start praying for friends. It's not so much what they can do for you, but what it is you can do for them. This goes beyond being a servant; it goes to the heart of being a fellow brother/sister in Christ. What do you do for the spiritually? Do you pray, weep, mentor, celebrate, etc? Because when you get to that point, the point where it's them, not you, you get some of the best people in your life. You get the people who love you for you and want you to become the best "you" you can. It's when you let go of the others, no longer of God, that He can put the ones He wants in your life.

Blessed Are the Peacemakers...

Not only being fantastic because it was my birthday, but yesterday was an awesome day at Atlantic Shores. Our worship team and choir were on point in leading songs focused on the name of Jesus and all it includes. I, as usual, was moved to tears thanks to the stirring of the Holy Spirit. What can I say, some people dance, some lift their hands...I cry. The music was perfect as it lead to Pastor Kyle's opening "Yahweh Shalom," one of the holy names for God. God is peace.

He then went on to discuss the 4 Characteristics of a Peacemaker (Matt 5:9):

1. has made peace with God
2. lead others to make peace with God
3. help others make peace with others
4. endeavor to find a point of agreement with other people

Seems simple enough, and it should be. The fourth characteristic is one that I am going to be working diligently on. As Pastor Kyle spoke, I got to thinking that I don't ever really put in the effort to cultivate a relationship that the "common ground/interest" isn't overly apparent. I probably won't argue/communicate/interact with you, but I'm not going out of my way to seek a territory where we can unite. That is unacceptable as a follower of Christ and one aspect of my walk that I will be striving to change. There is always a point of agreement and a common ground. Jesus was relational--not superficial. I will become like Christ...it will merely be a continual work in progress.

The other huge point that Pastor drove home was that righteousness and peace are always hand in hand; can't have the true version without its counterpart present. In other words, can't have one without the other (James 3:17 & Ps 85:10).

Smoke-no-mo Update

One month complete! And I'm stoked! Thanks for the prayers and thoughts and encouragement and love and...you get the picture!!! WOOOO HOOOO

Little One

Things seem a little rocky in the life of the little one today. She sat in my lap and cried for me to go "get Daddy." I'm guessing seeing the children from church with their dads might be triggering something in her little heart and mind. Whatever it is, it's not something I can stop. It's one of those things that only God can comfort. All I can do is rock her and pray...pray...pray. This is the first time in a long time that my heart aches and hurts to this severity for her little heart; and being her mom, I can't fix this hurt and it's killing me. Just trying to keep her focused on the picnic dinner on the beach is going to be a daunting task today. Needless to say, I'm gonna need prayer. Lots of it. Today reminds me of why I posted that PostSecret last month...we're gonna be ok.

Third Day

Yesterday I found That everything I knew was wrong

It was upside down The life I thought I had was gone

But You came and whispered love to me

And You gave me strength to carry on

Oh, the sun is shining

Oh, a new day's dawning

The sun is shining

Yesterday I lost Everything I had and loved

Then I cried out for You, Lord

And You came and picked me up

And the sorrow lasted through the night

But the joy came with the morn

Oh, the sun is shining

There is hope for me again

Oh, a new day's dawning

The sun is shining

I will lift my voice

No, I won't be silent

For You heard my cry

And You turned my mourning into dancing

And so forever I'll sing

Oh, the sun shining

There is hope for me again

Oh, a new day's dawning

Yeah the sun is shining

The sun is shining down...

Saint Patrick's Day & Kevin Mac

Oh joy did I do my ancestors right...I celebrated St. Patty's Day at a Mexican restaurant listening to some awesome live country music. And who better to spend the day with? None other than Miss Cantrell. That's not the point of this post. A few weeks ago I asked y'all to send me some new music to listen to (you, all of you, dropped the ball on that) and I included who I was currently listening to. I mentioned in passing that I had been introduced to a new artist Kevin Mac who I appreciated. My previous comments did not do this gentleman justice by a long shot. Even given the small venue, his charisma and true joy for his art shined with every strum of the guitar.

It was amazing how well he and his partners-in-crime worked together and fed off each others' energies.  Each song they did was done with such passion and ownership that it made you want them to go on...and on...and on. He was responsive to the crowd and got them on their feet, moving...even if caused some of us to chuckle. Kevin also took the time to mingle with the crowd and invest some of himself. Simple things like that make others want to invest in the artist as well.

It's clear he's got the skills and the drive. Kevin opened for Kenny Chesney and learned from numerous other names in the country business. I am extremely excited to see his career blossom and be taken where the Lord takes it...oh yeah, he's a believer.

Kevin Mac will be playing at Guadalajara on General Booth on Wednesdays (9-11pm) March 24 and 31 and hopefully into the month of April (check out his links to find other venues he will be gracing with his talent). I will keep you posted and highly recommend you take the time to check this guy out. He's just that good.

Childhood

She is one of those friends who you know your entire life and don't realize how much you've gone through together until you sit back and think. It dawns on you that during her first two tours you were too young to understand and appreciate what she was doing. It terrifies me now, more than ever, that she is doing a third. I want to go to her wedding, meet her children, and grow old with her in my life. I will be praying harder than ever in ways that only come with age. I know that with God on her side, and mine too, she'll make it home safely. She'll make it back to those who love and cherish her.

Curiouser and curiouser

I loved it even though it was dark at times. I was able to overlook that with the humor, the colors, the beauty of "Wonderland", and the whimsical path it takes you down. It was a great movie to check out with my friends and to share a few good deep-belly laughs!

I Realize...

that it's been a fairly long time since I updated about the career aspect of my life. I'm still without a career. Job. Employment. You get the idea. Not that I am not occupied with the little one or with church things, but I have no paid job. I'm currently at the point where my flesh and worldly thoughts are battling with that of my Scriptural beliefs and faith in Christ. It's so easy to go and fill out applications or submit my resume, both of which I would assume would yield a job. A job though is not what I want/need--that would be a career. My flesh keeps telling me to take it into my own hands, that God is taking too long to respond, that God has gotten me as far as He is willing to take me, etc. Even with all these thoughts zipping through my head, my heart knows better. Had I not soaked my brain with Scripture, I would be out doing things my own way. Not God's way. And granted I might be able to make a living, I wouldn't be living. God has such amazing things in store for me that I would hate to miss out on what blessings could be mine!

Matthew 7:7-11
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

And this list could go on and on, but those are just a few that I meditate on.

Fish? What Fish?

Lately in my quiet time I've been asking the Lord to direct me to Scripture that He wants me to read. In doing this, I stumbled across Jonah. Most of you are thinking, "Really, Jonah? Man runs from God, gets eaten, repents, obeys, and gets grumpy. Really?" Yep, that's the short of the long. And by long, I mean 4 chapters. Even still, it got me thinking...what has God told me to do that I have run from? Because of my running (oh the irony), what is my "fish?" I began to pray and pray and pray and ask God to show me any areas of my life where I was running and unaware to it. Furthermore, because of that running I asked Him to begin to deliver me from my "fish."

{insert dramatic music here}

I realized that I was skipping a step. I asked God to show me my running and to deliver me but I forgot I had to repent. Here is Jonah's (chapter 2) prayer:

Jonah's Prayer

1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.

2 He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me.
4 I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’
5 The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God.
7 “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.
8 “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.”


10 And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

Just by reading Jonah's words you get a clear picture of how sorry his heart was. You can picture him being buried alive, drowned, tied down, suffocated and without any control of what was happening to him. The only thing that was going to deliver him from such circumstances (which are always subject to change) was crying out to the Lord. Being merciful as He is, God gave him his second chance.

{Setting: Nineveh; Enter Jonah)

I laugh at Jonah running around preaching and warning the citizens to repent of their wicked ways. How many of us have been in similar situations (metaphorically, of course). We see individuals who we are compelled to speak to and warn them of consequences that may befall them. We do--they come clean with God--God loves on them and shows them mercy--they go on their way.

We're left standing there going, "HELLO!? I sat in a fish not doing what You told me because I knew when I did, they'd do what they'd did, and because of who You are, what You'd do what you did?! I got punished! Not fair!"

And the same happens with Jonah. He gets so furious, he runs again into the middle of nowhere and tells God to go ahead and end his life. Now, I've never been there, but Jonah was a passionate man...or a big baby...haven't decided yet. What I do know is that the same compassion and mercy and grace and love and kindness...etc...that God had on Jonah when he repented, He showed on those in Nineveh. Jonah has no right to react the way he did.

Do I have any right to get angry with God because He is who He says He is and does what He says He will do? Of course not. And that my friends is a hard pill to swallow.

Food For Thought

Titus 3


1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.


3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.


4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.


8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.


9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.


11 You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self‑condemned.

Religion Stepping on Jesus' Words

Matthew 5: 43-48

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

It was highly educational listening to Pastor Kyle again today. The message was very moving and poignant (that will be tomorrow's post), but it was his side note that stuck this evening. In verse 43 Jesus addresses the social acceptance of hating your "enemy." It seems simple and those who aren't educated in things Biblical, could almost believe that it came from Scripture...but it didn't. Nowhere in the Bible does God tell us it is okay to hate anyone, regardless of what they've done. This "motto" is a great example of how fleshly religion has stepped in and fitted the "Scripture" to our lives and desires. It makes one wonder how often we have added/omitted/substituted things in the Bible to bring about what we deem appropriate.

The good news, even if we have committed such offenses, is that God is who He says He is and He does what He says He will do. It's nice to focus on the fact that God is unchanging no matter the distortion we allow ourselves to believe. Furthermore, the great news is...that even though we may want to hate our enemies but doing things God's way usually yields better results. For example:

Proverbs 25: 21 &22

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.

Just saying.

Armor Up

Been a long while since I had a day take me completely off guard. Not that it was a bad thing, just the type of day that reminds you why praying and walking in the Holy Spirit are not optional when walking with the Lord.

Woke up this morning and before I even rolled out of bed, I went ahead and clothed myself with the armor of God (read through verse 18). Now, it's not that this isn't a daily practice but I usually do it once little one is eating her breakfast, I'm drinking my morning coffee, and reading our morning devotional. Reguardless, it came to mind, so I armored up. The first hour of the morning went off without incident and baby girl and I were almost ready to head out for a date with friends when I realized I had a missed called...

As I looked to see who it was, I was a little shocked. It was the mother-in-law. Not that I cared she had called, it merely took me aback that she was: 1. calling in the morning and 2. calling from her cell phone. Whatever. Listened to the vm and about lost it in rage. She was addressing some money questions that the "hubby" had brought to her attention. I wasn't mad at her, I was furious with his lying, again. Within 2 minutes though, I was calm and thinking clearly. I knew that the Lord was showing me some truth.

Furthermore, because I had on the Helmet of Salvation, I was thinking rationally and was able to make wise decisions without being influenced by my wacko emotions. ha ha. I called the "hubby," caught the lie, and just let him know that we all knew. Didn't matter. Thought I was going to be able to go on with my day, but apparently I wasn't. Prior to the arrival of our company to the aquarium, I went ahead and asked that my heart be softened, I watch my tongue, and I be filled with the Holy Spirit while being sensitive to Him.

15 minutes later...out the door we went. {insert minor bumper bender here. seriously} The whole way to the VBA I just knew I was going to have to call the m-i-l and chat with her later that day. I knew I had been shown the truth, I should listen to the Holy Spirit and share with her as well. After all, she and I are on the same side and aren't enemies and I refuse to let a wedge of division be driven into our relationship if it is not God ordained.

She and I chatted later today and discussed things that had to be vocalized. Long story short, more dirt came out and I said what needed to be said. Blunt. Direct. Twice. No misunderstanding what I was saying.

But I did it in a calm manner and with a sense of peace. I know these conversations were in God's will. I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but you can't hide from the truth. And that, my friends, is not my problem.

Tough Week in the Beatitudes

Matthew 5: 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Seems pretty straight forward at first glance. When Pastor Kyle first read it, I was like, "Duh. You lose someone of course you'll be sad. And of course your family/friends will help you." But it became much clearer as he began to elaborate how "baby-Christian" my thought process was.

The Greek word for "mourn" in this verse is only used a handful of times in the entirety of the Bible. It is the deepest, severest degree of suffering and loss one can experience--the loss at the death of Christ for the disciples is the best example. Further into his discussion, it was apparent that we were not referencing the loss of a loved one, but the sin that we commit and don't weep over.

I am in such denial about the sorrow my transgressions cause my Heavenly Father. I admit I take for granted the mercy and grace that are readily available to me. I hardly ever recognize the sorrow and grief that I should be feeling for the sins I have committed. It is easy for me to shed tears on behalf of my brothers and sisters in Christ; weeping for the injustice in others' lives comes quickly.

I know that speaking harshly toward or about someone is a sin, but I don't ever cry over the words that left my mouth--or even the thoughts that run through my mind. I don't cry because I lust after something/one more intensely than I pursue Christ. I haven't cried because of the rage and bitterness that is taking root in my heart...a heart that was purchased by the blood of my Savior. To be able to look you in the eye and tell you these things is a terrible testimony to the condition of my heart. Even still, conditions, like circumstances, are always subject to change.

Pastor Kyle went on to discuss three things sin will inevitably do. Sin will:

1. take you farther than you ever wanted to go...yep, ended up pregnant outside of marriage.

2. keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay...yep, 5 years later ended up in a marriage that has failed.

3. cost you more than you ever wanted to pay...wait, wait, wait...what?

I had to stop and think about that for a second. What exactly had my sin cost me? At this moment, nothing that cannot be restored through the grace of Christ. Pastor Kyle continued his sermon on how sin does these things. First, it penetrates your heart. Skipping toward the end of Matthew 5, verses 27 and 28 tell us blatantly, that you don't have to physically act on something for it to be counted as sin.

In Luke 22:69, Christ mentions the Son of Man at the right hand of God Almighty. Following verse 28 are 29 and 30. Twice the "right" of a body part is mentioned--this, like the order of the Beatitudes, is not haphazard or without purpose. Secondly, if not addressed, once sin penetrates your heart, it perverts all that is precious and dear to you. Are we not precious to the Lord...Does that not clue you in on how dangerous sin is and what it could pervert in your life?

WARNING for yours truly. If I didn't/don't start to mourn the sin that is in my life presently or repent for the things in my past, my sin would cost me my relationship with my sweet, angelic, little girl. My unbecoming speak of others would teach her that it is ok; it is not. My lustfulness would teach her to pursue things not of God. And, my anger/bitterness would harden my heart so much that even she wouldn’t be welcome; and that of all things would not be replaceable.

As usual though (for it is in His character and nature), God shows us hope and comfort. Standing in the Throne Room before God, Isaiah cries out how ruined and destitute he is (recognizing his spiritual condition) because of his unclean lips and the unclean lips of those with whom he keeps company. With the effortless act of mercy of the seraph on behalf of God, it is made known that because of Isaiah's confession and acknowledgment of sin, he is forgiven (Isaiah 6: 5-7).

In Psalm 32, David lists all the consequences that accompany the unconfessed sin. The weight of the chains of oppression from guilt was more than he could bear--similar to us trying to hide our sins from ourselves, let alone Christ. He then begins to rejoice with the freedom he experiences when he purges his transgressions and empties his heart before God.

It's amazing that I am struggling with the same issues that a man, who committed adultery and murder, addressed thousands of years ago. BUT, after weeping and crying out and MOURNING, he was comforted. David was then called a man after God's own heart. Just knowing the history of God's love for sinners is hope enough that I will be comforted....

I recommend reading Psalm 32 fully. It paints a better picture than I can. And needless to say, many tears have fallen in 24 hours.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I say that with the sincerest of my abilities. This is the first Valentine's Day in, um, 5 years, that I am truly excited about. No, there is no man in sight; and I think that is what is making it so delightful. It's the first real holiday of a new year and there are no levels of expectation or hype. Just me and some lady friends grabbing some grub and going to the movies. I may throw in a mani/pedi and massage and have one heck of a holiday.

With that said, I did have an unexpected gift at my door. Thank you.

Go find me some music!

As I was sitting at the computer this morning, writing down a list of things to get from the store, I stopped and began to laugh. It was in the writing of “sour cream” that I realized I was tapping my foot, bobbing my head, and singing along. “Whose music had me so chipper this wonderful morning,” you ask. Why the one and only Miley Cyrus. Yes, you read that correctly.

I completed the grocery list and decided to flip through not only my Pandora playlists but iTunes as well. Most of my taste is very age appropriate; representing some MJ, Jason Mraz, Carrie Underwood, Jason Aldean, Casting Crowns , Nicole C. Mullen, Anjulie, Anuhea...you get the picture. Then I checked out most/recently played and I thought I was looking at a teeny-bopper’s lists and all I was missing were the Jonas Brothers (***under no circumstance would I ever link them here. Do that on your own time).

Who knows? I get a kick out of my playlists and I get down cooking, cleaning, and doing nothing. With that said, sadly, it probably won’t change. I do know however I will be accepting every suggestion that comes my way...for instance, thanks to the infamous Kieran Carobine I was introduced to talented Kevin Mac.

Thoughts Sparked

I was informed the other evening that my blog seems a little, and by "little" I mean overly, intimate and personal. Who knew? I understand that I'm not comical and witty like others or even remotely close to political regurgitation, but, apparently I am deep.

For those of you who know me, you know that I try to stay in the "public" me and on rare occasions let you in on the "personal" me. Public Me likes to keep things going, she can be argumentative, and she'll fight for what she knows to be noble/true/moral. She'll admit she's wrong when you have substantial evidence to prove so and she may even apologize if it's obvious that she was offensive. Other than that, know that you'll have a great time because she appreciates her good times!

Personal Me, well, she'll share a secret--better yet, she'll keep yours. She's there for you to confide in and will probably shed a tear or two with you. She lets you in on what God's doing in her life and some of the things that she's praying about. Personal Me will tell you things about her family that you never would have guessed, send you random cards in the mail (given she's got your current mailing address), and be happy/excited/mournful/angry/loving for/with you. With that said, you may get to know pieces of this woman, but you'll never know her struggles, battles, triumphs, or intimate being; these are reserved for those she invites into my "private" me.

Private Me are all the things that no one would want to share with the world. She holds my paralyzing fears, my repulsing insecurities, my war-raging wrath, my tenderhearted motherly love, my hysteria inducing humor (that often leads to snorting, sore sides, and tears of joy), my darkest moments (which include my most shameful acts of sin), my biggest regrets, and the largest leaps of faith. She holds the Me that I desperately long others to know but am dreadfully scared to let in.

This was just an elaborate and wordy way to tell you, the reader, that this, this blog, is your invitation in. It is the collaboration of the Me's, together being vulnerable, so that you may know me in my totality as God changes that which I know about myself.

Enjoy the ride. I know I will.

Valentine's Day

I want pink tulips. No roses. No chocolate. No man. Pink tulips.

My own news flash

Yesterday I was having computer issues that demanded I contact my "computer man." He's someone who has been in my life for about 10 years, second longest only to my father (family in general), and followed by the "hubby." Having had that thought, I soon realized that each of them had committed countless acts of offense toward me. The most insulting--breaking my heart.

Now, do not take this as me coming down on all males, by no means is that my intent in this post. What is motivating this is the fact I need to recognize and acknowledge that I have been broken and hurt, that I am becoming bitter and angry, and that I must give it to God to receive proper healing and to be restored. I can't keep harboring these emotions toward men because the three, that's it, three, that I allowed myself to be vulnerable with, hurt me. And here's the real kicker: of those three, two were brought into my life, by me, in my rebellious phase. We touched on that subject in a previous post but simply put because rebellion is merely for a season (or lifetime for some), its consequences are longer lasting. So, do I have a right to be hurt by the ones I opened the door to? Shouldn't I forgive them; better yet, shouldn't I forgive myself?

Irony in this situation is that the other two have the same character flaws of my father that hurt me so badly. The largest of the flaws being abandoning me. The short of the long is my "computer man" and "hubby" have been forgiven by me, not so much for them but for me. This brings me to my father.

I watch how God is slowly restoring my relationship with my father and for that I am grateful. What I am also watching (and learning) is that the progress of this restoration is only as fast as I grow and allow God to change me inside. For instance, everyday God shows me another area in which I need to release my father and forgive him, an area in which he cannot fulfill (this is something he will be accountable for before God) and I need to allow God to step in and father me. God is the Father to the fatherless and the Great Physician. Both of which I need for spiritual healing. This was the revelation God gave to me yesterday.

The growth of that revelation spread into the life of Brooklyn. How can I show her how much God loves her if I don't know for certainty in areas of my life? How can I show her who her father is, if I don't know who mine is? And say I do know it, if I'm not living it, what difference does it make? All I know for sure is that I cannot be everything to her; I have to allow God to step in and do His thing, me be on board, and allow Brooklyn to know/feel/live His love in a way my words cannot express.

I need to be complete in the Lord if that is my desire for my daughter.

Blessings...or curses

The power of our tongue is one that many Christians neglect more than just day to day...for some, it's an entire life time. There is a secular saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," that is in its own way, Biblical.

It is very easy to be sucked into conversations that are of the "bashing" mentality; where speaking negatively of someone/where/thing is better than the silence that may result. What a simple trap Satan has laid out for individuals to fall prey to. We believe that if there is silence, something must be wrong and be remedied. How false that is and how quickly it leads us into cursing things and people for no reason. When we speak ill and harshly of such things, we open the door to such remarks and comments about us and our lives. It begins a full circle of curses on all involved. You are actually inviting disease, illness, poverty, and a whole allotment of sins into your life, eventually leading to death.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverb 18:21

With that said, it is just as easy to pour blessings into other individuals and inevitably, yourself. By opening the doors to Heaven and literally saying "God bless you" (which seems to be the most direct and easiest thing to say) we will open the same door for others to do this for us. Speaking life, exhortation, enlightenment, joy, love, the Spirit into the lives of others allows us to become the recipients of similar blessings. You can bring life back into a home, a person, a business, a church if you choose to do so. Really, the choice is yours.

The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:23-24

This simple revelation and study that God blessed me with is almost too simple; but in the long run, isn't that how God works? No tricks, jumps, or holes to go through. Just the Truth and the simplicity of His love.

God's just THAT good

I'm just now realizing that I never informed anyone on how last week went pertaining to the trip from the "hubby" and in-laws.

At the beginning of January when I was informed that they would make a trip at the end of the month, my mother and I began praying (heavily) and asking for prayer that God's will be done in the situation; Lord knows that I so did not want them to come. However, it was confirmed later that week that they indeed would be joining us from Wednesday evening to Saturday morning. Tolerable at best.

My prayers then changed from if they were coming to while they're here, give me wisdom, discernment, and a silent tongue. I was so fearful of how I would react, and there's a huge difference between respond, to the things they did/didn't do/say. The Lord continued to press upon my heart that He had not left me, but would be by my side the entire visit and to keep praying for them. It was emphasised that I shouldn't grow complacent and believe that since I addressed the issue in the Throne Room once that I was good to go. No, instead, I should continue to lift it before God and pray each day the way I was lead to pray for different aspects which I had somehow forgotten or didn't realize their importance...

The Wednesday of their arrival had come. Every time I spoke with the "hubby" their departure time was later and later, fine by me. Blessing #1. Because of their delay in the road trip, I was able to attend the church-wide prayer meeting that evening and not disrupt the routine Brooklyn and I are accustomed to. Blessing #2. During the meeting, the request that I had put in on Sunday regarding the visit was announced (anonymously of course) and prayed for...with yet another X# of people and anointed with God's presence and filled with the Holy Spirit. Blessing #3.

Now mind you, since Christmas, I have been asking the Lord to help me be sensitive to the wooing of the Holy Spirit and to act when I felt Him moving me. Fifteen minutes before the prayer meeting was over, I felt urged from within, to go ahead and leave to go home. Dad and I got up (keep in mind, the fact that my father is attending not only Sunday mornings, but Wednesday night prayer meeting is its own huge blessing!) and headed home. Pulling into the complex directly in front of us were the "hubby" and in laws. Blessing #4.

Once everything had calmed down and everyone was settling in for the evening, I was then informed that they would be departing Friday evening because they were anticipating 12" of snow at their home. Combined with their delay in arriving and now the early departure, 14 hours had been chopped from the visit. Blessing #5. Later that evening, after everyone had gone to sleep, the "hubby" and I were talking downstairs where I was prompted to dive into a financial conversation with him. The Holy Spirit lead me through a line of questions which *eventually* uncovered the truth to where his money was going. Blessing #6. Following this was a brief remark about how I would be keeping the entire tax return to pay off his debts to our daughter and my family. Some arguing followed, but soon he realized it was the proper thing to do. Blessing #7.

We all awoke the next morning, enjoyed breakfast and went out the door to do somethings. First, the "hubby" and I went and filed for a passport for Brooklyn. Went smoothly, total agreement, and a pleasant experience. Blessing #8. Following this, we headed down to the Aquarium (mom-in-law picked up gas expense...blends in with following blessing). Mind you, we were blessed with such beautiful weather to experience this adventure and the trip itself was amazing. No arguing or even disgruntled attitudes. Everyone was on their best behavior and had a blast. Blessing #9.

Upon our return to the townhouse, news was that the storm heading toward their home was expected to hit 6 hours sooner. This prompted the "hubby" and I to file taxes while Brooklyn was napping. While we were dong this, he became rather pissy (sorry for the language) about the amount we were receiving. Now, had I not been sensitive to the Holy Spirit telling me the prior night to warn "hubby" of not receiving any of it, it would have been ugly. But having yielded to God's will and being sensitive to His exact timing, I was refunded more money than I hoped for and could not receive argument/objection because "hubby" had agreed to it the night before. Blessings #10/11/12

We got home and everyone was waking up from their naps. The temperature had since dropped and we decided to stay in and watch movies and play with toys. My dad ordered pizza (that's another side note blessing) and hung out downstairs until it was discussed (prompted by my father) that the snowfall was now estimated 18-24" and starting Friday night and that they should maybe cut their trip even shorter and leave asap in the morning! Blessings #13 and #14.

After a wonderful night's sleep, everyone awoke in a rather chipper mood. Clothes were packed, the car was loaded, and goodbyes began. Little Brooklyn handled herself so amazingly well that that brought tears to my eyes. That she was able to say goodbye to her father and grandparents, but stay focused on the fact that Kitty was coming over later and this pain that she felt was only temporary. Blessing #15. Away they drove. No tears shed from my eyes.

I just cannot get over how good God was during this trip and how many details that had been accounted for that I could not even fathom had I tried. I believe wholeheartedly that because I walked in complete submission to His will and covered my house, daughter, family, and myself in complete prayer, that I was not only rewarded financially and with a shorter trip...but I felt and walked with the Holy Spirit and His presence for the longest period of my life.

Not that I have never felt His presence with me, but I have never sustained that feeling for as long as I did last week. That experience will never be wiped from my memory and has only deepened my faith in Him. Thank You Lord.

Blessings #16-20.

Snow

I wish things were as clean after the snow as they are when the snow is on the ground. I also wish that the tracks you find in the snow lead somewhere other than indoors. And finally, I wish the snow would melt away all the icky feelings that seem to accompany it.

Boo on today

Today is just one of those days where it seems as though nothing settles right with me. From conversations with people to emails, phone calls, texts to articles in the paper...nothing sits well with my mind or my heart. I just feel as though I am preoccupied with something, but to name what it is, I couldn't to save my life.

Maybe it is just the lingering dread of my soon-to-be-ex-in-laws (you like the hyphens don't ya?) coming for their visit. Who knows? All I know is that there is something stirring my insides with discontent and nausea. I am hoping/praying that upon their arrival these feeling will subside and I will merely be focused on keeping them distracted and "entertained."

I am unsure as to why I am so reluctant to have them here. Is it the anger and rage that I feel when I see them? Or the simple fact that I am sickened by their ignorance to the SOB that their son is? Or just maybe, it's the notion that they are just as simple-minded as their son?

I don't mean to come across as judgemental or ranting and raving about such petty things, but I have such frustration with others who willing fail to acknowledge their failures or wrong doings.

I cannot stand people who are unwilling to change...and I guess from this, well hate, I have always prayed that God would not be silent and would not allow me to squash the wooing of the Holy Spirit to change.

On that lovely note...expect the surprises that befall me to show up in well described details.

Ephesians 1:17-19

17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe...

The Lord has pressed upon my heart the following verses to commit to memory and write on my heart. They hold great things in store for me, but I must first be obedient to the first step.

Haiti Tragedy

2 Chronicles 36

16 But they mocked God's messengers, despised his words and scoffed at his prophets until the wrath of the Lord was aroused against his people and there was no remedy.

Many people are upset with Pat Robertson for his remarks. Yes, the timing could have had some more tact, but the statement still rings true and had its impact.

People fail to acknowledge that, like the verse claims, God won't be mocked.

Don't be envious of my sin...

The statement caught me totally off-guard last night at 757. In the midst of conversation and reflecting back on small group...I simply stopped mid thought.

I wonder how many fellow Christians look at others, believers and non-believers, and are jealous of the lives they live. People who go out and enjoy (drink, smoke, etc) themselves, drive nice cars, live in beautiful homes, date casually, pleasure themselves with lovers, hold the authoritative positions at work--the list goes on and on. Looking in from the outside, one can be easily persuaded that, as a believer, they're missing out on something joyful and worth desiring. But that's the world's opinion.

As believers, we're called to be above such things. Most of the above are deliberate act of sins and disobedience of the Word of God. Drinking in excess, premarital sex, affairs, etc are clearly laid out as no-no's; but the others, they can be tricky.

Cars, homes, boats, and the such usually come with debt. Now, granted most of such debts are acceptable and reasonable but there are still people who go above and beyond, living outside of their means. Gluttonous living is just as sinful as the fleshly sins aforementioned.

Positions of authority, were they at the expense of your family and friends? Have they become your new 'god?'

These don't even touch the feelings of having 'missed out' on aspects of life. Being 27 and still a virgin...questioning if your spouse will ever come and will they have remained faithful to their purity also. And if not, curious as to how it's fair. Living as an adult, on your own, financially independent, and still not going out, indulging yourself with shopping or partying--walking into work, listening to coworkers share stories and memories merely reinforces that feeling of loneliness that sometimes sets in.

Being a born-again Christian from an early age, living a respectable life. Living a life filled with the promises of God and realizing that there's more to living than that here on the earth is satisfying in itself when you know you have the Kingdom of Heaven waiting for you. Then, it happens, someone (fill in the most despicable person you could imagine or even the sweetest individual...who lived the life you desired) comes to know Christ as they were taking their last breath. One, who knows Christ, would love to say it sucks and it's not fair or just...

In reality, it is though. Every sin that is committed comes with consequences both on earth and in death. Every sin is a burden for the sinner to carry. You know it--you've felt it after a lie, after that one night stand, after that unnecessary purchase on your credit card. Christian or not, one should never desire the life of another for we do not know the weight that comes with it.

Furthermore, every breath on earth does not compare to an eternity with Christ. An eternity that is preceded by a judgement day at which point we will all be measured and judged with the same standards. Last breath salvations or early childhood ones...we'll all be responsible for every word, every deed, and every thought followed by an eternity which we'll have time to reflect...or roast. (poor attempt at humor, I know)

I have enough of my own weight to bear, things to reflect on, gossip to confess, lust to repent...the last thing I need to be is envious of yours...the invisible weight that goes with that life of yours. I'm grateful for a God who forgives and bears that weight for me. One who shows me that what He has in store for me is paradise compared to that here on earth...or what you have. I'm going to let you live your life and you let me live mine. Every few weeks I'll remember not to want what you have and I'll remind you also.

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be mislead, "bad company corrupts good morals."

What an appropriate VOD (verse of the day). It seems that I have a tedious time at letting go of those who I know are not healthy for me. I have a great understanding that at times, seasons end with friends and acquaintances, yet I can't seem to shake them. I hold on in the hopes that one day things will go back to how they first were when the "relationship" began. The longer I hold, the more I am wounded and my dreams dashed.

I have few people in my life who will always be there; I am still referring to those who are not family. Ironically, it is these people who are closer to me than family; and even still, more ironically, that makes me sad. But I digress.

I'm sadden by these relationships that must end because it is in those moments, I realize that I have grown, changed, moved on...exited my phase of rebellion. Now, do not misread this and take it as me saying that I no longer have bursts of rebellion in my life, Lord knows I do. I'm merely acknowledging that I no longer live a life of rebellion. It is then, that I see, when I'm with some people, I revert back.

I revert back to anger, pride, jealousy, drinking (heavily), desiring the things not of God. It's painful to realize that even in this growth that I spoke of earlier...I am still weak and capable of walking away from God, yet again.

I long for the social circle of Christ: 1 best (brother-like) friend, 3 great friends, 12 good friends, and 100 people of interest. I have my 1. I'm currently working on the outer rims of this circle. I have a few spots on the 12 and 100 filled...but I have a long way to go. I want people (friends) of God who are going to hold me accountable and take me past levels of morality I didn't deem possible for myself.

This is my second resolution: To have more people (options) for those pictures that I spoke about yesterday. By this I mean I am going to seek friends (brothers and sisters) in Christ.

Pictures

So many say that pictures are worth a 1000 words. May be true, but they represent numerous memories of both good and bad. I'm at that point where it does me no good to have reminders throughout the house of times that brought such sorrow.

My resolution this year is to fill my frames, my walls, and (most importantly) my eyes with pictures that bring the best of times to mind with the best of people.

It's not that I am naive and think that removing pictures will rid me of the wretched things I feel and think...but I do believe it is one step closer into making me the person I need to be and to give me the closure I so desperately long for.

To deepen even further the blissthese reminders bring, each has a Scripture written on its back. Nothing better than the Word of God to spark joy.

Fitting PostSecret