1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be mislead, "bad company corrupts good morals."

What an appropriate VOD (verse of the day). It seems that I have a tedious time at letting go of those who I know are not healthy for me. I have a great understanding that at times, seasons end with friends and acquaintances, yet I can't seem to shake them. I hold on in the hopes that one day things will go back to how they first were when the "relationship" began. The longer I hold, the more I am wounded and my dreams dashed.

I have few people in my life who will always be there; I am still referring to those who are not family. Ironically, it is these people who are closer to me than family; and even still, more ironically, that makes me sad. But I digress.

I'm sadden by these relationships that must end because it is in those moments, I realize that I have grown, changed, moved on...exited my phase of rebellion. Now, do not misread this and take it as me saying that I no longer have bursts of rebellion in my life, Lord knows I do. I'm merely acknowledging that I no longer live a life of rebellion. It is then, that I see, when I'm with some people, I revert back.

I revert back to anger, pride, jealousy, drinking (heavily), desiring the things not of God. It's painful to realize that even in this growth that I spoke of earlier...I am still weak and capable of walking away from God, yet again.

I long for the social circle of Christ: 1 best (brother-like) friend, 3 great friends, 12 good friends, and 100 people of interest. I have my 1. I'm currently working on the outer rims of this circle. I have a few spots on the 12 and 100 filled...but I have a long way to go. I want people (friends) of God who are going to hold me accountable and take me past levels of morality I didn't deem possible for myself.

This is my second resolution: To have more people (options) for those pictures that I spoke about yesterday. By this I mean I am going to seek friends (brothers and sisters) in Christ.