Food For Thought

Titus 3


1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.


3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.


4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.


8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.


9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.


11 You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self‑condemned.

Religion Stepping on Jesus' Words

Matthew 5: 43-48

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

It was highly educational listening to Pastor Kyle again today. The message was very moving and poignant (that will be tomorrow's post), but it was his side note that stuck this evening. In verse 43 Jesus addresses the social acceptance of hating your "enemy." It seems simple and those who aren't educated in things Biblical, could almost believe that it came from Scripture...but it didn't. Nowhere in the Bible does God tell us it is okay to hate anyone, regardless of what they've done. This "motto" is a great example of how fleshly religion has stepped in and fitted the "Scripture" to our lives and desires. It makes one wonder how often we have added/omitted/substituted things in the Bible to bring about what we deem appropriate.

The good news, even if we have committed such offenses, is that God is who He says He is and He does what He says He will do. It's nice to focus on the fact that God is unchanging no matter the distortion we allow ourselves to believe. Furthermore, the great news is...that even though we may want to hate our enemies but doing things God's way usually yields better results. For example:

Proverbs 25: 21 &22

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.

Just saying.

Armor Up

Been a long while since I had a day take me completely off guard. Not that it was a bad thing, just the type of day that reminds you why praying and walking in the Holy Spirit are not optional when walking with the Lord.

Woke up this morning and before I even rolled out of bed, I went ahead and clothed myself with the armor of God (read through verse 18). Now, it's not that this isn't a daily practice but I usually do it once little one is eating her breakfast, I'm drinking my morning coffee, and reading our morning devotional. Reguardless, it came to mind, so I armored up. The first hour of the morning went off without incident and baby girl and I were almost ready to head out for a date with friends when I realized I had a missed called...

As I looked to see who it was, I was a little shocked. It was the mother-in-law. Not that I cared she had called, it merely took me aback that she was: 1. calling in the morning and 2. calling from her cell phone. Whatever. Listened to the vm and about lost it in rage. She was addressing some money questions that the "hubby" had brought to her attention. I wasn't mad at her, I was furious with his lying, again. Within 2 minutes though, I was calm and thinking clearly. I knew that the Lord was showing me some truth.

Furthermore, because I had on the Helmet of Salvation, I was thinking rationally and was able to make wise decisions without being influenced by my wacko emotions. ha ha. I called the "hubby," caught the lie, and just let him know that we all knew. Didn't matter. Thought I was going to be able to go on with my day, but apparently I wasn't. Prior to the arrival of our company to the aquarium, I went ahead and asked that my heart be softened, I watch my tongue, and I be filled with the Holy Spirit while being sensitive to Him.

15 minutes later...out the door we went. {insert minor bumper bender here. seriously} The whole way to the VBA I just knew I was going to have to call the m-i-l and chat with her later that day. I knew I had been shown the truth, I should listen to the Holy Spirit and share with her as well. After all, she and I are on the same side and aren't enemies and I refuse to let a wedge of division be driven into our relationship if it is not God ordained.

She and I chatted later today and discussed things that had to be vocalized. Long story short, more dirt came out and I said what needed to be said. Blunt. Direct. Twice. No misunderstanding what I was saying.

But I did it in a calm manner and with a sense of peace. I know these conversations were in God's will. I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but you can't hide from the truth. And that, my friends, is not my problem.

Tough Week in the Beatitudes

Matthew 5: 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Seems pretty straight forward at first glance. When Pastor Kyle first read it, I was like, "Duh. You lose someone of course you'll be sad. And of course your family/friends will help you." But it became much clearer as he began to elaborate how "baby-Christian" my thought process was.

The Greek word for "mourn" in this verse is only used a handful of times in the entirety of the Bible. It is the deepest, severest degree of suffering and loss one can experience--the loss at the death of Christ for the disciples is the best example. Further into his discussion, it was apparent that we were not referencing the loss of a loved one, but the sin that we commit and don't weep over.

I am in such denial about the sorrow my transgressions cause my Heavenly Father. I admit I take for granted the mercy and grace that are readily available to me. I hardly ever recognize the sorrow and grief that I should be feeling for the sins I have committed. It is easy for me to shed tears on behalf of my brothers and sisters in Christ; weeping for the injustice in others' lives comes quickly.

I know that speaking harshly toward or about someone is a sin, but I don't ever cry over the words that left my mouth--or even the thoughts that run through my mind. I don't cry because I lust after something/one more intensely than I pursue Christ. I haven't cried because of the rage and bitterness that is taking root in my heart...a heart that was purchased by the blood of my Savior. To be able to look you in the eye and tell you these things is a terrible testimony to the condition of my heart. Even still, conditions, like circumstances, are always subject to change.

Pastor Kyle went on to discuss three things sin will inevitably do. Sin will:

1. take you farther than you ever wanted to go...yep, ended up pregnant outside of marriage.

2. keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay...yep, 5 years later ended up in a marriage that has failed.

3. cost you more than you ever wanted to pay...wait, wait, wait...what?

I had to stop and think about that for a second. What exactly had my sin cost me? At this moment, nothing that cannot be restored through the grace of Christ. Pastor Kyle continued his sermon on how sin does these things. First, it penetrates your heart. Skipping toward the end of Matthew 5, verses 27 and 28 tell us blatantly, that you don't have to physically act on something for it to be counted as sin.

In Luke 22:69, Christ mentions the Son of Man at the right hand of God Almighty. Following verse 28 are 29 and 30. Twice the "right" of a body part is mentioned--this, like the order of the Beatitudes, is not haphazard or without purpose. Secondly, if not addressed, once sin penetrates your heart, it perverts all that is precious and dear to you. Are we not precious to the Lord...Does that not clue you in on how dangerous sin is and what it could pervert in your life?

WARNING for yours truly. If I didn't/don't start to mourn the sin that is in my life presently or repent for the things in my past, my sin would cost me my relationship with my sweet, angelic, little girl. My unbecoming speak of others would teach her that it is ok; it is not. My lustfulness would teach her to pursue things not of God. And, my anger/bitterness would harden my heart so much that even she wouldn’t be welcome; and that of all things would not be replaceable.

As usual though (for it is in His character and nature), God shows us hope and comfort. Standing in the Throne Room before God, Isaiah cries out how ruined and destitute he is (recognizing his spiritual condition) because of his unclean lips and the unclean lips of those with whom he keeps company. With the effortless act of mercy of the seraph on behalf of God, it is made known that because of Isaiah's confession and acknowledgment of sin, he is forgiven (Isaiah 6: 5-7).

In Psalm 32, David lists all the consequences that accompany the unconfessed sin. The weight of the chains of oppression from guilt was more than he could bear--similar to us trying to hide our sins from ourselves, let alone Christ. He then begins to rejoice with the freedom he experiences when he purges his transgressions and empties his heart before God.

It's amazing that I am struggling with the same issues that a man, who committed adultery and murder, addressed thousands of years ago. BUT, after weeping and crying out and MOURNING, he was comforted. David was then called a man after God's own heart. Just knowing the history of God's love for sinners is hope enough that I will be comforted....

I recommend reading Psalm 32 fully. It paints a better picture than I can. And needless to say, many tears have fallen in 24 hours.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I say that with the sincerest of my abilities. This is the first Valentine's Day in, um, 5 years, that I am truly excited about. No, there is no man in sight; and I think that is what is making it so delightful. It's the first real holiday of a new year and there are no levels of expectation or hype. Just me and some lady friends grabbing some grub and going to the movies. I may throw in a mani/pedi and massage and have one heck of a holiday.

With that said, I did have an unexpected gift at my door. Thank you.

Go find me some music!

As I was sitting at the computer this morning, writing down a list of things to get from the store, I stopped and began to laugh. It was in the writing of “sour cream” that I realized I was tapping my foot, bobbing my head, and singing along. “Whose music had me so chipper this wonderful morning,” you ask. Why the one and only Miley Cyrus. Yes, you read that correctly.

I completed the grocery list and decided to flip through not only my Pandora playlists but iTunes as well. Most of my taste is very age appropriate; representing some MJ, Jason Mraz, Carrie Underwood, Jason Aldean, Casting Crowns , Nicole C. Mullen, Anjulie, Anuhea...you get the picture. Then I checked out most/recently played and I thought I was looking at a teeny-bopper’s lists and all I was missing were the Jonas Brothers (***under no circumstance would I ever link them here. Do that on your own time).

Who knows? I get a kick out of my playlists and I get down cooking, cleaning, and doing nothing. With that said, sadly, it probably won’t change. I do know however I will be accepting every suggestion that comes my way...for instance, thanks to the infamous Kieran Carobine I was introduced to talented Kevin Mac.

Thoughts Sparked

I was informed the other evening that my blog seems a little, and by "little" I mean overly, intimate and personal. Who knew? I understand that I'm not comical and witty like others or even remotely close to political regurgitation, but, apparently I am deep.

For those of you who know me, you know that I try to stay in the "public" me and on rare occasions let you in on the "personal" me. Public Me likes to keep things going, she can be argumentative, and she'll fight for what she knows to be noble/true/moral. She'll admit she's wrong when you have substantial evidence to prove so and she may even apologize if it's obvious that she was offensive. Other than that, know that you'll have a great time because she appreciates her good times!

Personal Me, well, she'll share a secret--better yet, she'll keep yours. She's there for you to confide in and will probably shed a tear or two with you. She lets you in on what God's doing in her life and some of the things that she's praying about. Personal Me will tell you things about her family that you never would have guessed, send you random cards in the mail (given she's got your current mailing address), and be happy/excited/mournful/angry/loving for/with you. With that said, you may get to know pieces of this woman, but you'll never know her struggles, battles, triumphs, or intimate being; these are reserved for those she invites into my "private" me.

Private Me are all the things that no one would want to share with the world. She holds my paralyzing fears, my repulsing insecurities, my war-raging wrath, my tenderhearted motherly love, my hysteria inducing humor (that often leads to snorting, sore sides, and tears of joy), my darkest moments (which include my most shameful acts of sin), my biggest regrets, and the largest leaps of faith. She holds the Me that I desperately long others to know but am dreadfully scared to let in.

This was just an elaborate and wordy way to tell you, the reader, that this, this blog, is your invitation in. It is the collaboration of the Me's, together being vulnerable, so that you may know me in my totality as God changes that which I know about myself.

Enjoy the ride. I know I will.

Valentine's Day

I want pink tulips. No roses. No chocolate. No man. Pink tulips.

My own news flash

Yesterday I was having computer issues that demanded I contact my "computer man." He's someone who has been in my life for about 10 years, second longest only to my father (family in general), and followed by the "hubby." Having had that thought, I soon realized that each of them had committed countless acts of offense toward me. The most insulting--breaking my heart.

Now, do not take this as me coming down on all males, by no means is that my intent in this post. What is motivating this is the fact I need to recognize and acknowledge that I have been broken and hurt, that I am becoming bitter and angry, and that I must give it to God to receive proper healing and to be restored. I can't keep harboring these emotions toward men because the three, that's it, three, that I allowed myself to be vulnerable with, hurt me. And here's the real kicker: of those three, two were brought into my life, by me, in my rebellious phase. We touched on that subject in a previous post but simply put because rebellion is merely for a season (or lifetime for some), its consequences are longer lasting. So, do I have a right to be hurt by the ones I opened the door to? Shouldn't I forgive them; better yet, shouldn't I forgive myself?

Irony in this situation is that the other two have the same character flaws of my father that hurt me so badly. The largest of the flaws being abandoning me. The short of the long is my "computer man" and "hubby" have been forgiven by me, not so much for them but for me. This brings me to my father.

I watch how God is slowly restoring my relationship with my father and for that I am grateful. What I am also watching (and learning) is that the progress of this restoration is only as fast as I grow and allow God to change me inside. For instance, everyday God shows me another area in which I need to release my father and forgive him, an area in which he cannot fulfill (this is something he will be accountable for before God) and I need to allow God to step in and father me. God is the Father to the fatherless and the Great Physician. Both of which I need for spiritual healing. This was the revelation God gave to me yesterday.

The growth of that revelation spread into the life of Brooklyn. How can I show her how much God loves her if I don't know for certainty in areas of my life? How can I show her who her father is, if I don't know who mine is? And say I do know it, if I'm not living it, what difference does it make? All I know for sure is that I cannot be everything to her; I have to allow God to step in and do His thing, me be on board, and allow Brooklyn to know/feel/live His love in a way my words cannot express.

I need to be complete in the Lord if that is my desire for my daughter.

Blessings...or curses

The power of our tongue is one that many Christians neglect more than just day to day...for some, it's an entire life time. There is a secular saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," that is in its own way, Biblical.

It is very easy to be sucked into conversations that are of the "bashing" mentality; where speaking negatively of someone/where/thing is better than the silence that may result. What a simple trap Satan has laid out for individuals to fall prey to. We believe that if there is silence, something must be wrong and be remedied. How false that is and how quickly it leads us into cursing things and people for no reason. When we speak ill and harshly of such things, we open the door to such remarks and comments about us and our lives. It begins a full circle of curses on all involved. You are actually inviting disease, illness, poverty, and a whole allotment of sins into your life, eventually leading to death.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverb 18:21

With that said, it is just as easy to pour blessings into other individuals and inevitably, yourself. By opening the doors to Heaven and literally saying "God bless you" (which seems to be the most direct and easiest thing to say) we will open the same door for others to do this for us. Speaking life, exhortation, enlightenment, joy, love, the Spirit into the lives of others allows us to become the recipients of similar blessings. You can bring life back into a home, a person, a business, a church if you choose to do so. Really, the choice is yours.

The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:23-24

This simple revelation and study that God blessed me with is almost too simple; but in the long run, isn't that how God works? No tricks, jumps, or holes to go through. Just the Truth and the simplicity of His love.

God's just THAT good

I'm just now realizing that I never informed anyone on how last week went pertaining to the trip from the "hubby" and in-laws.

At the beginning of January when I was informed that they would make a trip at the end of the month, my mother and I began praying (heavily) and asking for prayer that God's will be done in the situation; Lord knows that I so did not want them to come. However, it was confirmed later that week that they indeed would be joining us from Wednesday evening to Saturday morning. Tolerable at best.

My prayers then changed from if they were coming to while they're here, give me wisdom, discernment, and a silent tongue. I was so fearful of how I would react, and there's a huge difference between respond, to the things they did/didn't do/say. The Lord continued to press upon my heart that He had not left me, but would be by my side the entire visit and to keep praying for them. It was emphasised that I shouldn't grow complacent and believe that since I addressed the issue in the Throne Room once that I was good to go. No, instead, I should continue to lift it before God and pray each day the way I was lead to pray for different aspects which I had somehow forgotten or didn't realize their importance...

The Wednesday of their arrival had come. Every time I spoke with the "hubby" their departure time was later and later, fine by me. Blessing #1. Because of their delay in the road trip, I was able to attend the church-wide prayer meeting that evening and not disrupt the routine Brooklyn and I are accustomed to. Blessing #2. During the meeting, the request that I had put in on Sunday regarding the visit was announced (anonymously of course) and prayed for...with yet another X# of people and anointed with God's presence and filled with the Holy Spirit. Blessing #3.

Now mind you, since Christmas, I have been asking the Lord to help me be sensitive to the wooing of the Holy Spirit and to act when I felt Him moving me. Fifteen minutes before the prayer meeting was over, I felt urged from within, to go ahead and leave to go home. Dad and I got up (keep in mind, the fact that my father is attending not only Sunday mornings, but Wednesday night prayer meeting is its own huge blessing!) and headed home. Pulling into the complex directly in front of us were the "hubby" and in laws. Blessing #4.

Once everything had calmed down and everyone was settling in for the evening, I was then informed that they would be departing Friday evening because they were anticipating 12" of snow at their home. Combined with their delay in arriving and now the early departure, 14 hours had been chopped from the visit. Blessing #5. Later that evening, after everyone had gone to sleep, the "hubby" and I were talking downstairs where I was prompted to dive into a financial conversation with him. The Holy Spirit lead me through a line of questions which *eventually* uncovered the truth to where his money was going. Blessing #6. Following this was a brief remark about how I would be keeping the entire tax return to pay off his debts to our daughter and my family. Some arguing followed, but soon he realized it was the proper thing to do. Blessing #7.

We all awoke the next morning, enjoyed breakfast and went out the door to do somethings. First, the "hubby" and I went and filed for a passport for Brooklyn. Went smoothly, total agreement, and a pleasant experience. Blessing #8. Following this, we headed down to the Aquarium (mom-in-law picked up gas expense...blends in with following blessing). Mind you, we were blessed with such beautiful weather to experience this adventure and the trip itself was amazing. No arguing or even disgruntled attitudes. Everyone was on their best behavior and had a blast. Blessing #9.

Upon our return to the townhouse, news was that the storm heading toward their home was expected to hit 6 hours sooner. This prompted the "hubby" and I to file taxes while Brooklyn was napping. While we were dong this, he became rather pissy (sorry for the language) about the amount we were receiving. Now, had I not been sensitive to the Holy Spirit telling me the prior night to warn "hubby" of not receiving any of it, it would have been ugly. But having yielded to God's will and being sensitive to His exact timing, I was refunded more money than I hoped for and could not receive argument/objection because "hubby" had agreed to it the night before. Blessings #10/11/12

We got home and everyone was waking up from their naps. The temperature had since dropped and we decided to stay in and watch movies and play with toys. My dad ordered pizza (that's another side note blessing) and hung out downstairs until it was discussed (prompted by my father) that the snowfall was now estimated 18-24" and starting Friday night and that they should maybe cut their trip even shorter and leave asap in the morning! Blessings #13 and #14.

After a wonderful night's sleep, everyone awoke in a rather chipper mood. Clothes were packed, the car was loaded, and goodbyes began. Little Brooklyn handled herself so amazingly well that that brought tears to my eyes. That she was able to say goodbye to her father and grandparents, but stay focused on the fact that Kitty was coming over later and this pain that she felt was only temporary. Blessing #15. Away they drove. No tears shed from my eyes.

I just cannot get over how good God was during this trip and how many details that had been accounted for that I could not even fathom had I tried. I believe wholeheartedly that because I walked in complete submission to His will and covered my house, daughter, family, and myself in complete prayer, that I was not only rewarded financially and with a shorter trip...but I felt and walked with the Holy Spirit and His presence for the longest period of my life.

Not that I have never felt His presence with me, but I have never sustained that feeling for as long as I did last week. That experience will never be wiped from my memory and has only deepened my faith in Him. Thank You Lord.

Blessings #16-20.

Snow

I wish things were as clean after the snow as they are when the snow is on the ground. I also wish that the tracks you find in the snow lead somewhere other than indoors. And finally, I wish the snow would melt away all the icky feelings that seem to accompany it.